Moderately Injured

Well, I hate my right hand.

The best thing about hating my right hand, and also, the worst thing, is how much it makes me think about my left hand. My left arm, even over two years later, is still stronger than my right. When I broke my collar bone, my right arm was dead weight for more than six weeks, and when my left arm decided to pick up the slack, it never stopped. However, it's still worthless for things like, writing, eating utensils. Things it's great for in a pinch consist of shifting in a manual car, and, well, that's about all that comes to mind.

I suppose a recount of the accident is in order. And for that to happen, we have to go further back in time, to the invention of Awesome Ball.

It describes itself. It is, without a doubt, the most awesome game ever. Why, well, there are no real rules to Awesome Ball, the major reason besides lack of coordination and terrible team spirit that I never excelled or really did sports as a kid. Now mind you, there were some that that were fun, when they were made up or not played with the standard set of rules, but those are a story for another day.

Recently, my mother got one of those big exercise balls, and I amused myself with that pretty easily. Ben was over at some point, and he seemed to think he could pop one. It very quickly progressed into a challenge, one that will likely never be fulfilled. Of course, their were constraints like he couldn't use tools, and there would have to be a time limit. So, not wanting to destroy my mother's, I bought my own. This was the large, or 75 cm gray exercise ball, made by Prospirit, which ran me only a little over $10, so I wasn't going to be too out should Ben succeed.

Luckily, we planned on documenting the challenge, so when I first busted it out, it was dark, so we of course would not engage in the challenge in such poor lighting. SO instead, we proceeded to play some sort of soccer, rugby, volleyball combination game with the giant ball. And the fun was nigh infinite. We established that there would be no rules, which was later broken by the addition of the one and only rule, that you could invent any rule you wanted during play, provided it only lasted for thirty seconds.

Eventually, we took Awesome to the masses, and by masses, I mean our friends from high school. The problem I have discovered is that the more of us there are, the lazier we get. It was most fun with two people, and while it seemed like it would improve with more participants, it got worse and worse the more people we involved. Until I, in a mood inspired by the lack of energy, I just ran up to the ball after having to retrieve it for like the sixty third time, and jumped on it. It of course, being a sphere, rolled out from under me, throwing me off so I would land on my face. Stunned by this turn of events, I didn't get my hands out in time to fully break my fall, and instead, nearly broke both my hand and ribs as I landed on them.

Neither are, fortunately, just badly bruised. The whole incident did remind me that I do enjoy being insured, and now, today, after finishing all of my classes for this semester, and more than likely failing PreCalc, I am considering signing up for classes again in the fall. It's sad, because my reasons for going to school keep getting worse and worse. It went from feeling like I was supposed to, and when that didn't motivate me, I did it to get out of high school early. Then, after dropping out, incidentally because of a broken bone, to feeling like it was the responsible thing to do, when it was not at all, to doing it because everyone else thought I should, to now, for insurance.

Still though, despite the injuries, the park was great. It was good to see some of my old friends. Rusty, in particular, is always amusing, and it never gets old how dumb this kid can be. I had locked my keys in the car with the windows down just enough to reach my arm in and unlock it. Rusty of course spied that I had fruit snacks, so he of course sticks his arm in to try and reach the box. It didn't seem physically possible, but every time we thought he had wedged his arm in as far as he could, he'd jam it in a little further. You could see the red marks on his arm that marked his progress, and the distance between the first time he got stuck and where he finally reached the box was probably close to two inches.

He finally managed to grab the edge of the box, but the cardboard ripped, and the box fell over on his side. He pulled out, defeated, and then Ben pointed out that he could have easily unlocked the door from his position. He earned those fruit snacks.

I suppose I can't make fun of him to much. When we left, I was worried I would have to have someone come pick me up, because I couldn't drive myself home, and the only other person driving stick, Ben, had to take his own car. But, Rusty and I form an unstoppable team, and he operated the shifter while I worked the clutch, and despite our poor levels of communication, there were zero accidents on the way home.

But, as I stated previously, I hate my right hand, and my left hand is not much better, and I'm sick of typing, so that's all I've got for now. I promise to do something soon, but for now, I'm kind of laid up.