More Fun In The Wind

We felt bad that we really having done anything besides fly kites lately, and since Ben made our Monthly goal for April to "Be less lame", so we decided to do something else. And of course, after a brief debate over what we should do, my only idea being build a windsurfer, and Ben's only idea being "apple" and "butter". Since I had no idea what he wanted to do with either of those things, and I'm pretty lazy, we ended up just flying kites. And because of said laziness, we stepped it up a bit.

The epitome of laziness right there.

We had brought the chairs from the get go, but as it started to rain, I went back to get the umbrella. I'm pretty sure next time, we'll have a boom box, a cooler full of drinks, and maybe a grill.

The water is nice. Problem is, when our kites crash, we have to actually use the fishing rods for their intended purpose. And Kites are not easy or fun to reel through the water.


I had to go in and get Ben's at one point because his line broke. Once I was already wet, I saw no reason not to stand around in the water.

We actually had some kids come up and ask us whether we were fishing or flying kites. Obviously both. Then, one of the kids proceeded to argue with us about whether or not their were fish in the pond. Considering the pond was bone dry a week ago, the kid assumed there couldn't be fish in there. I may have to go buy some cheap goldfish to put in there to support our argument that there are indeed fish in that pond.

Just some more shots of our wonderful set up.

At one point (I think I was getting my kite off of a neighbors roof) Ben discovered that I wouldn't even need to build a sail for my windsurfer, the umbrella would be more than enough. So, we headed back up and I immediately attempted to use wind to propel myself along on a skateboard.

It is hard to stand on a skateboard while holding onto an umbrella that is being pulled in the direction of the wind.

I suppose the sidewalk didn't help, but I can't see anything in front of me because of the umbrella, so instead of trying it on the street, I capitalized on an idea I had earlier on how to make said windsurfer without tools. This is what I got.

So, I decided that duct taping a scooter to the skateboard, so that I would have a pivoting handle. Apart from the whole using duct tape, it wasn't a terrible idea.


About twenty seconds later. As I said, duct tape wasn't my best idea, but I'm too lazy to use tools. after all, it was only a prototype.


Twenty seconds later again, I had managed to flip the umbrella inside out.




Ben of course, was no help. Despite how much I look like I'm enjoying myself, this was quite frustrating, and I hate Ben. Useless tool.



And then, I finally manage to get it working, if only for about fifteen feet. Ben of course, fails to capture this on film. He has no problem pulling out his camera when my moment of success turned into painful defeat.

So, I can see that it can work. For starters, I need a new umbrella, I kind of destroyed that one. Preferably, one that is clear, so that I can see. Also, I will utilize tools to better fix something to the skateboard. It can happen, and it will. I promise you this.

Transformers, Robots In Da Skies

So, Ben and I are geniuses (clearly), and this time, we finally outdid ourselves. We took a relatively boring activity, fishing, and combined it with the thrill of possibly the best recreational past time ever, kite flying, and created an even bigger thrill.

Kite Fishing

It was inevitable, really. For as much as Ben and I fly kites, eventually, we had to find a way to make the process more efficient. Nobody likes to wind in a kite, but people actually seem to enjoy reeling in a fish, so much so that it is a televised sport. So we figured, why not reel in a kite. It's faster, more fun, and more satisfying. And it's so much easier to get a kite up in the air when all you have to do is release a little button to let string out, and push it down again to stop it, and with the flick of the wrist, you can direct your kite into drafts.

This, admittedly, wasn't the first time we went kite fishing. Unfortunately, Ben didn't bring his camera the first time, and this story is better told with pictures to illustrate the sheer awesomeness of what we have stumbled upon. And it's a mixed blessing that we didn't have a camera that first test flight, as kite fishing is more complicated than it seems. Gizmo's trunk is full of the corpses of kites that have fallen in the line of duty, failed trials in our attempts to touch the heavens with thin sheets of plastic. In fact, the reason we both have the same kite is that Ben's is actually a Frankenkite, a poor, miserable creature fused from the bodies of lesser kites.

From left to right, Frankenkite, Optimus Prime


Frankenkite in your face!

Ben's first Kite of the day, Cars, was nearly cut in half, by my 10 lb fishing line kite string. That is one of the more unfortunate things about using fishing line rather than kite string. The other, is that, once you loose sight of it, you will most likely never find it again. In addition to Cars, two Ironmans, like, three Spidermans, Elmo, and Nemo all fell or were lost in in our efforts to perfect this, as well as two whole fishing rods and one reel were ruined. Biggest problem was that you can't let fishing line out all the way, or it will come off, and your kite will just fly away, if you're lucky, to get stuck in a tree, or worse, it just is lost, never to be found again. And then then, the whole reattaching it gave us near infinite troubles.

"You attach the string, and then you reel it in." -wisdom of Ben, the wise old sea captain.

In our first attempt, I had managed to find my first kite after it had gotten free, stuck up in a tree. I realized how odd a scene it must have been, for one of my neighbors to look out the window, and see some young guy standing in your backyard, just reeling in a fishing line. Naturally, they called the cops, and for the first time, we were doing nothing wrong. By the time the cops showed, we were back on public property, successfully flying kites. So they sat there for a few minutes, and then left, defeated, without even getting out of their pigmobile. Victory was was almost as sweet as the success of our kite flying.

"I'm standing on the most ineffective dam in the world, flying the most bad ass kite in the world, and somehow, I am breaking no laws. And I'm not wearing shoes!"

Still though, the sacrifices were worth it. By the time today that we had everything ready, and a camera, we had no problems flying our kites in the best way possible. Well, that's not entirely true. I think I suck at flying kites, but Ben is the best in the world. Even though he had an awful frankenkite, he still managed to fly it. I don't know, I guess I am just a giant douche. Something like that. It was pretty funny though. I had little difficulty getting Optimus to his optimal range in minimal wind, and then had time to sit back, tool around with Owlybird, my little, Jewish owl kite, and let Optimus just do his own thing whilst Ben rocked the entire world for the better part of a half hour, maybe more.

Owlybird, wearing his purple yamika.


My kite, doing a wonderful job of flying, unattended.


"I would rather have E. Coli than this kite."

Now, for those of you who wish to try this at home, and you all know you do, as of yet, we have not copyrighted the kite fisher, so we're all right with you making your own. Patent it yourself, and their will be hell to pay. Consider yourselves forewarned. Anyways, some advice. don't waste your time buying the cheapest thing available. It's not an expensive toy, but, you get what you pay for, so be prepared to buy the second least expensive thing and save yourself a second trip to Walmart. The first trip was bad enough. I'd stay away from kits. Again, you might think you're saving yourself a few bucks, but really, your costing yourself enough frustration to cause real actual stress, and that's not what kite flying is all about. We've been kind enough to endure the stress so you don't have to. At Walmart, we were able to get a cheap reel for around seven dollars, and with rods, I'm reasonably sure you can't go wrong. We recommend taking off the top half of the rod anyways. True, you may get a bit more control, but it didn't seem to be worth the extra hassle. It's up to you though.

"Buy a Zebco reel. Avoid anything named after famous playwright Bill Shakespeare. He had nothing to do with fishing"

As far as kites go, don't waste your time with the little diamond ones. Again in this situation, cheaper is not to your advantage. They work fine, provided you have a strong wind. And your kite fisher is something you should be able to enjoy in even the most minimal amount of wind. The bigger, delta shaped kites generally run around $3 to $3.50, which isn't terribly expensive, cheap enough so you won't be hurting if you only lose one. And it does happen.

"If I didn't get it right on the first try, who are you to think you might do better? Just remember, god hates a coward."

Last but not least, you're going to need to some cool shades. Staring up on a sunny day is inconvenient at best. You should probably own these, but if you don't, don't be afraid to go cheap. Ben found these in the car door loose junk holder of his Paseo.

"I usually don't wear sunglasses, because my face is crooked."

All in all, you're looking to spend around $17 on your kite fisher, provided you have to buy everything, less if you have on old fishing rod lying around in your garage or a trunk full of kites.