Recap

Sorry about the lack of blosting. Been, busy...

The whole fam was in town, and by whole fam, I mean my sister Kellie and her two kids, and Heather and her potential husband, my potential brother-in-law. I guess it's more future than potential... I don't consider it official unless I see it happen, and the chances of that happening aren't good. As I mentioned, the whole busy thing.

I will be very glad to be done with school, and if I'm smart, I'll never go back. It's not the worst thing in the world, it's just there are a hundred other places I'd rather, be, a thousand things I'd rather be doing. I don't like to expend effort when I don't care, and that's what school is. I can be really motivated if I'm all in, but I see no reason for school. I'm actually making my final paper for my English class on how going to college isn't the best idea in the world, which makes me a little bit of a hypocrite, but that's nothing new. Also, that paper will more than likely never be finished, because before we finished it, the professor went ahead and told us what we're doing next, which just happens to be fiction.

These have nothing to do with this blost. I made Ben take these because we haven't had pictures in awhile, and I though the blog needed some color. I intended to get to what we did today on here, and I might do a part two of the recap.

No constraints other than it has to deal with fear. Taft doesn't care how long it is, whether it's really fiction or nonfiction, or a mix of both. And see, that I can, and will write, with gusto. But all the other papers we've had to write... I'm not hear to persuade anyone on anything. I don't want to illustrate a point, or compare or contrast a damn thing. I really don't want tell someone the causes and effects of a certain problem. I think that's all the papers we've done. Anyways, I'm here to tell a story. That's my purpose, I do that, and then I can die, happily. But I have no reason to write anything else. Mostly because I don't care about any of these other things.

But now of course, he told us about that last project, so I won't finish my paper that is actually critical to me passing English 101H because I'm doing the next paper that may or may not have any effect on my grade. And that's just the thing. Grades. They're so arbitrary, and it's just so depressing to see how much stock everyone else puts in them. It's not important. Passing isn't even that important. The money I wasted on these classes, even less important. None of that stuff matters unless you make it matter, and I can't find a reason to even try anymore.

Also, my film class. He just gave us another paper to do, that isn't due for two weeks. Just write a scene for a movie, or I guess television would work too, in the proper screenplay format. It has to be two pages, and deal with teenagers, but other than that, no restrictions. That I can do. That I want to do. My old neighbor, Korry, just finished or is about to graduate from Full Sale down in Florida, and I think he wants to be a director, and he's promised me a movie. Now's as good a time as any to start preparing for that. And Korry, he's someone who has benefited from College, and I'm glad he did. That's the issue I'm having with that paper, because my premise is go to school if you want to, but don't if you don't want to. It's very true, but not very conducive to writing a six page paper, especially when I'm writing important things.

I guess that film scene isn't preventing me from doing another assignment in film, but it is do in two weeks, and he's pretty lax on the whole turning things in on time thing, which is wonderful, but Rather than doing that one later, I'm putting off my whole semesters worth of Spanish homework, which is just tedious plug and chug. A whopping 714 pages of tedious plug and chug to be exact, which is due the end of this month, and we've had all semester to do, and I started yesterday. The part that gets me is how little this is helping me with Spanish.

Spanish is another one of those classes that remind of why I never wanted to go to school. Ironically, it's the class I'm doing the best in. My professor, who's name I don't even know, (my fault, admittedly, not his) isn't really a teacher, in that he doesn't really teach, or do any of the things that a teacher is supposed to do. He comes to class, but as far as teaching goes, we basically read the textbook out loud for an hour twice a week. Every once in awhile, for grammar, he shows us a PowerPoint he didn't make. And the tests, those that we have, are generic multiple choice tests he got from the book. When he's too lazy to grade the tests, he has a blog, where ten questions are listed, and students are to comment the answers at their leisure, because he let the class decide when it's due, because he runs his classroom as a Democracy.

Last Wednesday, I was in a hurry to get home because Kellie had just gotten there, so I almost skipped Spanish, but I went, and that was a mistake. We were having a test, on of the in class generic scantron ones. Fortunately, he said that as soon as you were done you could go. I was one of the first done, so I hand in my test and head for the door. He stops me, and tells me to pull up a chair because "we have to make a key". So I ended up being there longer than I would during a normal class, and in that time, of the forty questions, I managed to eliminate ten of them because the multiple choice could have multiple answers. Seriously, one of the most poorly constructed tests I have ever seen. Then, because despite the fact that he's a terrible teacher, he's a pretty cool guy, and given the rest of the class, I'd rather talk to him, so we talked for awhile, and at first, it seems that he wasn't that different from me, until it came to my attitude for school. He was surprised, saying something like "What I see doesn't match what you are." I guess that's true. Deception is my oldest game, and a game I play well. That's something I've gotten a lot at FCC. I still project the guy I was pretending to be in high school I guess, before I let the mask fall off and revealed how little I care about things that I don't see as having any point. Then I thought, no, I really am a lot like this guy. He's a teacher who tries very hard to look like he's a good teacher, when in fact, he lets the book teach his students a whole language. He gets his awful PowerPoints, which have no more information than the book, from someone else, his tests are from the book, tests in which I can eliminate a quarter of the questions because there are multiple answers, his other tests when he's too lazy to grade scantrons are done on a blog, graded by his student aides. The only difference between me and him, I'm not trying to be someone I'm not.

I'm also putting off my math homework due Monday morning. Online classes were a good idea in theory, and I'm sure for someone else, they work fine, but for someone like me, who doesn't self motivate for things like that, terrible, terrible idea. I've done exactly half of the homework assignment, leaving my grade at just under 50%. If I do this weeks, it may or may not raise my grade to a D, passing. I'd do the math, but you know, then I'd be doing math. Apparently I'm good at math, which is the funny part. I tested great back in elementary school, and somehow, got a 4 on the Calc I AP test. Now I'm failing precalc, and I only have the grade I do now because the online homework quizzes tell you the answers after you get it wrong, and if you retry the questions enough times, it starts to repeat the same numbers. I'm just kind of hoping that I get like a C on the final, and then I can get a credit, which I'm pretty certain I will never attempt to use.

I guess the point I'm making is once, I let people convince me that eventually, I would grow up and be ready for school. Either I'm never going to grow up, or I already have, and realized that I was right all along, even if for the wrong reasons. I kind of want to be a motivational speaker. Go around to high schools and tell the kids that if they don't want to go to school, they shouldn't, and even if they do, with access to the internet and a hunger for education, you can learn more than you ever could in a college, and save yourself so much money. The problem is, society is convinced that college makes you a better person, and as much as I'd like to, I can't change that. Not with my unfinished six page essay, and definitely not with my stories.